My Own Road

Why does it seem that we as human beings attempt to rush through life as fast as we possibly can, when we are rushing towards nothing but...the end?

People always say "life is short" so why are those merely words rather than a warning to live by.  Life is incredibly short, even if we are lucky enough to live to be 80+.  And of course, living to be 80+ is a luxury...it is surely not guaranteed to everyone.  For argument-sake,  let's just saaayyyyy 80.

If you are LUCKY enough to be given 80 wonderful years, why is that we expected to be married by 25 with children by 30?  Some may argue that this is what is expected of us, as women mainly, yet I know plenty of people who think having children AT 30 is OLD!  If I were to have children at 30, that would mean I had 30 years of ME time, and 50 of being someone's mother.

Don't get me wrong-- I can't wait to be someone's mother.   But as many mothers will agree, once you become a mother to someone, you do lose a bit of yourself.  I am sure, that losing a little of yourself in place of gaining the unconditional love of a child is well worth it! Yet, if I could prefer it happen in my own time, I'd like to spend a little more time learning about myself before I surrender myself to another.

I never planned to date someone 7 years and end up single at 25, but I've learned to stop planning-- those things in life can never be premeditated.  I used to have the NEED (and yes I call it a NEED because I couldn't seem to move past it and it grew and grew with each day) to get married and have children.  I already felt like I had given myself up to someone long before that, so...hey...might as well get a wedding out of it, right?  Well, I've learned a lot in this past year regarding my "life's timeline." The main thing being-- that there is NO timeline.  The timeline is within myself, and as long as I am happy on the road that I am on, it really doesn't matter how old I am, how old of a mother I will be or at what age I will meet the "one."

I may be 35 and single, adopt a baby and never get married.

I may be 40 and married trying for a baby.

I may be 30 and married, unable to have children so I adopt.

Regardless of the "cookie-cutter" life I think I may have, the truth is-- it's not up to me.  I believe that God has plans bigger than anything I could dream of.  The only thing that really matters to me is that I am HAPPY.  If I am happy living a different life than the one I assumed I would have, than so be it.  Because I'd rather be UNCONVENTIONAL than UNHAPPY.