Moving. What do I think about moving? I'm sitting on the lanai right now... 10:02 at night, possibly 80 degrees. I love it here. I love the weather- its gorgeous every single day.
I love my roommates and the friends I've made in Hawaii. I've never once been blessed with such similar, yet amazing people. To think of leaving them in 3 months absolutely breaks my heart. Moving sucks. Leaving people you love always hurts, no ways about it.
No matter what I do, I'm hurting in some way because I'm leaving people I've grown so insanely attached to, who I consider my closest friends.
I just know I have to finish school. If I don't go through the credential program, a degree in teaching means... Nothing. And I don't want to live struggling to make enough at a job I don't like... To finish my credential, I need to live at home. Because I can't student teach and not have an income.
On top of it, I loved being home.
I loved having so many people to see. I loved spending the night at my best friend Ashley's house and playing auntie to her baby Rilynne and Jina's cures Jovanna and Jade. I miss working out with Naomi and the motivation she gives me. I miss spending the night with my La and her "babies". I miss all that.
...But I'm still so sad to leave. This hurts more than I can describe. It's just hard to leave any of my friends. I'm in the best roommate situation I've ever been in. I'm so close with Sam, and I've never fought with her, and she is just such a close friend and one of the most fun people I know. Michele just moved in, but she's my twin. She runs with me. I come home to her cooking. We just have lots in common, just like we do with Sam. Everything just WORKS SO WELL. It's perfect. It's so hard to leave.
When I left home to come back to Hawaii, I already had decided I would be moving back. So it wasn't as hard to leave, but there were a lot of tears regardless. But being here, knowing I'm leaving is more difficult than I imagined it would be. I've built friendships here that mean a lot to me. Enough to make me sit on the lanai and cry about right now. It's always hard to leave friends.
Anyways, long story short... :/ ... I don't want to live every day being sad about leaving. I want to enjoy every day. It's been an amazing 9 months but I know the next 3-4 months will be even BETTER as long as I live them out and stop thinking about the sad aspect of leaving. I need to appreciate my time here with my friends here.
Whew. That felt good. Goodnight.
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